Wholeheartedly Speaking

IS FALL A SEASON OF HEALING?

On November 16, 2022 / Emotional Intelligence, Letting Go, Our Shadow, Self Care, Self Compassion, Whole Hearted Living / Leave a comment

When the trees begin to shed their leaves during the fall, could this act of nature possibly be applied metaphorically to ourselves… a time to let go of what no longer serves us? Maybe we could be like the leaves falling from their source and trust the process by letting go in order to create the opportunity for something new to come into our lives. I realized how symbolic transitions and change can be for all of us, but if we pay attention there are so many lessons from nature. Ever notice when trees begin losing their leaves, they provide us with the most spectacular color display showing us how “letting go” can be so beautiful? When the fall season arrives, I often feel let down; why did all this beauty cover the ground? I finally found solace in my heart today

A YEAR BY THE SEA….THOUGHTS OF AN UNFINISHED WOMAN

On July 25, 2022 / Book Review, Daring Greatly, Empty Nest, Self Care, Self Compassion, Self Love, Whole Hearted Living / 1 Comment

A YEAR BY THE SEA….THOUGHTS OF AN UNFINISHED WOMAN By Joan Anderson I read this book in my early forties, and rereading it in my sixties gave me a whole new perspective about how life experiences offer us a glimpse into the continuous struggles we have to find meaning in our personal relationships. Joan speaks to ALL of us… Our lives are always changing just like the sandy shoreline along the beach; especially during these tumultuous past few years which have affected so many! Joan’s book inspired me to take the time to rediscover my second half of life potential and hope her unique story will give you the courage to reveal and release the untapped resources inside of you! The Story of Joan Anderson: Joan was a loving wife and a supportive mother, but she slowly and unconsciously replaced her own dreams with

IS PERFECTIONISM A SILENT KILLER?

On February 11, 2022 / Brene Brown, Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown, Perfectionism / 1 Comment

How many of us think we need to be perfect, and when something doesn’t go the way we planned it feels like a failure? I love this definition: “Perfectionism is the price of the never-ending desire; to never getting to the end of anything!” As a Daring Way Facilitator, I had the privilege to be trained by Dr. Brene` Brown; who has written several best-selling books about perfectionism. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Dr. Brown explains how perfectionism emerged from her research. The definition that best fit her data is that “Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, work perfectly, and everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feeling of shame, judgment, and blame.” Dr. Brown uses an analogy by stating it is a twenty-ton shield

LIFE

On November 3, 2021 / Book Review, Character, Emotional Intelligence, Whole Hearted Living / 3 Comments

“CHARACTER-REVEALING MOMENTS” GO TO THE HEART OF WHO WE ARE I have often heard the saying; “Character is defined as what you do when no one is looking.” Character reveals a person’s deepest intentions toward another human being. We ask ourselves, “Will this person be helpful or hurt me?” Knowing someone’s character provides important information about how the person is likely to treat you. The strength of a person’s character also determines how well they follow through on plans, goals, commitments, and values. Reading the obituaries offer rich information about a person’s character by summing up a person’s life by describing their legacy and impact on the world. I read a great example about this recently because one particular obituary really caught my attention! It started “George….has left the planet!” I thought to myself, “Wow, I wonder what George was really like, I

WE INHERIT THE SHADOWS WE CARRY INSIDE OF OURSELVES

On September 27, 2021 / Family Shadow, Our Shadow, Self Love / 2 Comments

Shadow-making happens in families and makes us who we are. It leads us to shadow-work, which makes us who we can become. Families define who we are; we are born into families, contained in families, nourished by families, and cherished by families. At the same time, we are neglected by families, betrayed by families, and witness violence in families. In the end, we die among family. The family holds so much power, the source of all good, the defense against evil. It ties each individual life to its fate, imprinting it genetically, biochemically, and psychologically with blessings and curses. To imagine life without family is to imagine life without a container, without a ground on which to stand. Our Family Image In the last thirty years, as a society, we have come to realize that our image of the family is just that,

ME AND MY SHADOW

On July 23, 2021 / Our Shadow / Leave a comment

TRACING THE ROOTS OF OUR PERSONAL SHADOWS It is difficult to accept that all of us sell ourselves out, sacrificing our complexity and authenticity in an effort to feel safe, earn money and win love. We trade off peace of mind for persona, building up a large debt to attain symbols of external status. We trade off authentic relationships for hot anonymous sex or an appearance of purity. We trade off lifelong struggles of soul-searching for the temporary pleasures of an addiction. We do make these pacts unconsciously, without knowing the sacrifice involved: the loss of vulnerability, intimacy, authenticity, imagination and soul. But, at some point we wake up to the cost of the bargain. We previously believed that by sacrificing ourselves we would avoid suffering; we would not have to acknowledge our own darkness. We discover we have committed the ultimate betrayal:

Discovering Our Authentic Self by Meeting Our Dark Side

On May 25, 2021 / Our Shadow, Whole Hearted Living / Leave a comment

The secret is OUT: all of us, NO exceptions, have qualities we won’t let anyone see, including ourselves—our shadow. If we face up to our dark side, our life can be energized. If not, there is a price to pay; our true selves will be buried forever. If you are ready to seek greater self-knowledge and tune into the voice of your soul this topic is for you! My hope is to provide an accessible exploration of the mysterious dark side of human nature and provide tools for a more authentic way of living. A quote by psychotherapist Carl Jung; “What we resist; persists.” How true! We have a difficult time exploring our unconscious forces and acknowledge or hidden negative traits like jealousy, impulsivity, self-centeredness as well as our under-developed traits which hold our creative talents and have tremendous healing abilities. How are

LEARNING FROM EACH OTHER.. IN OUR JOURNEY CALLED LIFE

On March 23, 2021 / Book Review, Daring Greatly, Whole Hearted Living / Leave a comment

“Everyone wants to live on the top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you are climbing it.” ~ Andy Rooney I thought this quote was perfect to describe how our lives have been full of so many challenges lately and finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel feels like we will eventually enjoy the view after such a long climb! All of us could use some positive words and a good source of inspiration as we head into the spring; so, I wanted to share with you a book I recently read called “The Mount of Olives” 11 Declarations to an Extraordinary Life”, by Michael V. Ivanov. We should never quit searching, never settle, and never stop seeking our greatest purpose in life. It is in the struggle during our search that our purpose will

TURNING THE PAGE ON 2020

On December 29, 2020 / Anxiety, Grief, Self Care, Self Compassion, Trauma / 2 Comments

The time to celebrate the end of a very challenging year is RIGHT NOW! Everyone has been through so much and the one thing we hopefully can look forward to very soon is being able to reconnect with our friends and family thanks to the brilliant scientists who have invented a vaccine for all of us! It has been quite a roller coaster ride this year with emotions and events that take us up summits and on dives, complete with loops and curves, hand-gripping moments, and finally a little bit of relief! Many of us carry a great deal of anxiety that we usually cover up and distract ourselves from, through work, relationships, going to a restaurant, watching television, exercising. Some of these are good things to do, but they can also function as a way of diverting our anxieties. There were fewer

UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONS

On October 29, 2020 / Book Review, Brene Brown, Letting Go, Self Care, Self Compassion, Self Love, Whole Hearted Living / Leave a comment

UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONS and HOW TO APPLY EFFECTIVE COPING SKILLS Suppressing feelings takes an emotional toll and when letting them out may not be a good option, there might be healthier ways to cope. Making sure you remain your authentic self is the first step by setting appropriate boundaries by asking yourself; “What is okay, and what isn’t okay that works for me?” HOW TO COPE: Name Your Emotions: So many times, we do not know exactly how we are feeling and what is rarely acknowledged is that courage and fear and not mutually exclusive. Most of us feel brave and afraid all day long at the exact same time. When you have a strong emotional reaction to something try and identify what the trigger is and reflect on what is causing the problem instead of unleashing on another person. Be Honest with