Wholeheartedly Speaking

TEENAGERS AND DEALING WITH EMOTIONAL DUMPING

On September 22, 2020 / Emotional Dumping, Parenting, Teenagers / Leave a comment

Emotional dumping is when someone verbally offloads intense frustration or fear onto someone they think should care and fix it NOW. Chances are that if you are the parent of teenagers or tweens, you have gotten dumped on. Especially in this crazy time we are living in! A good book for parents to read about dealing with their teenagers and tweens is called “Getting To Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens and Teens” by Laura Kastner and Jennifer Wyatt. For more than 30 years, Kastner has helped parents and children work toward a calmer home environment. This book describes the hormonal aspect as well as gender differences and how parents need to learn how to keep their emotions in check. She states obvious tools: Stepping outside for a moment. Taking a deep break. Thinking of mindfulness or Zen. But more importantly, it

RELATIONSHIP BUILDING WITH YOUR CHILDREN

On September 1, 2020 / Back to School Tips, Love, Parenting, Whole Hearted Living / Leave a comment

Role modeling what you expect from your child is difficult for every parent, but one is expected to try their best, at least most of the time right? If a child sees his parents day in and day out behaving with self-discipline, restraint, dignity, and with a sense of orderliness in their own lives, then a child will come to model these same values with every fiber of their being and learn to live this way. Unfortunately, if a child does not see these qualities than the opposite of this is also true! Remember that wise old saying we always need to “Practice what we preach.” But, one thing that is even more important in building a healthy relationship with your child is love. Even in chaotic and disorderly homes, if genuine love is occasionally present, children can become self-disciplined people. It is

HE HAS THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS

On July 28, 2020 / Forgiveness, Letting Go, Self Compassion, Self Love, Vulnerability, Whole Hearted Living / 4 Comments

Remember the song, “He Had the Whole World in His Hands”? We need to restore our faith in our fellow human beings and it reminded me of a story I heard recently: A well-respected physician was being interviewed one day and was asked if there was a pivotal moment while he was in medical school; he paused for a moment and thoughtfully mentioned it happened in his gross anatomy class. He went on the explain how students were assigned a human cadaver and the tremendous amount of respect he had for this 87-year-old woman who donated her body to science. Her decision was selfless and what a gift she was really giving all of us as she continued to teach a future doctor long after she had left this earth; for all of should be grateful. The physician went on to say something

WHAT IS THE TRUE DEFINITION OF VIOLENCE AND ABUSE?

On June 10, 2020 / Abusive Men, Daring Greatly, Forgiveness, Self Compassion, Self Love / 4 Comments

I am OUTRAGED when there is any human being or any other living creature that is forced to endure or witnessed suffering through violence and abuse. Maybe this time in our history is a wake-up call for all of us to address the atrocities that occur each and every day all over the world to people from different cultures, races, gender, and most of all of the children. The innocent are those who have no choice, no voice, and their only method of survival is dependent on the people that abuse them. This is a universal dilemma on multiple levels; the current events are devastating and the incidents happening everywhere have an enormous impact; especially on children. Would it be possible to just go back and think about when you were a child? All you wanted was to be safe and secure and

WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE?

On April 28, 2020 / Coronavirus, Death, Emotional Intelligence, Forgiveness, Serenity / 6 Comments

FINDING MEANING IN OUR LIVES AND LEARNING THREE IMPORTANT LESSONS Magical moments are embedded in ordinary life… but until we have been forced to slow down and pay attention they slip away, unnoticed, which is something I have personally learned over the past few months. For some reason, I became the person that inherited several family photo albums from my parents and finally had the time to look through them and give the pictures that have special memories to each of my siblings. As many people know seeing old family photographs can elicit emotions and take us back to a time we have long forgotten about, remember the old saying, “A picture is worth a thousand words?” Well, this project was not only a trip down memory lane but brought out feelings inside of me that offered another perspective about my family. I

HAPPINESS = REALITY minus EXPECTATIONS

On March 26, 2020 / Coronavirus, Emotional Intelligence, Self Care, Self Compassion, Self Love, Serenity / 1 Comment

In response to the rapidly changing and uncertain times, I want to continue to offer you content that is useful, applicable and appropriate to what we’re all going through right now. I would like to provide useful information to help see you through this difficult time and empower you to nurture connection within yourself, and with friends, family, colleagues, and the greater world, even as we remain physically isolated. The recent health events have shaken many of our personal foundations because the greater social structure on which we depend upon is no longer safely in place. We are certainly living in uncertain times and we can’t do what humans love to do and that is to predict. When we feel we can predict, we feel more in control. Here is a great visual example that will remind us of the fact we ALL

ARE YOU WAITING ON THE WORLD TO CHANGE?

On February 18, 2020 / Emotional Intelligence, Forgiveness, Letting Go, Self Compassion, Self Love, Whole Hearted Living / Leave a comment

THE PSYCHOLOGY TO FREEDOM Are you ready to escape the prison of your own mind? We can be our own jailers or we can be our own liberators, which one would you choose? As I read the following quote from Dr. Edith Eva Eger’s book; The Choice, Embrace the Possible, I felt an immediate sense of empowerment because as a Holocaust survivor who endured unspeakable horrors and brutality, Dr. Eger decided to transform her suffering into a powerful gift—one she uses to help others heal. “The most important truth I know is that the biggest prison is in your own mind, and in your pocket you already hold the key: the willingness to take absolute responsibility for your life; the willingness to risk; the willingness to release yourself from judgment and reclaim your innocence, accepting and loving yourself for who you REALLY are—-human,

The 3 Things Emotionally Intelligent People Have in Common

On January 21, 2020 / Emotional Intelligence, Parenting, Self Care, Self Love / Leave a comment

Emotionally Intelligent People Have 3 Things in Common. They are: 1. Happier 2. Healthier 3. More Successful This subject of Emotional Intelligence was brought to light in the 1990s when studies began showing people with average IQs were outperforming those with higher IQs. What exactly is Emotional Intelligence? A person’s ability to label, control, express and handle their emotions while recognizing and coping with the emotions of others. The ability to use both the rational and emotional parts of their brain to make logical decisions. A person’s ability to understand that their emotions are valid and rationalize their feelings. While IQ (Intelligence Quotient) measures someone’s ability to learn, EQ (Emotional Quotient) measures someone’s ability to recognize emotion, understand it and deal with it. IQ and EQ are not related, so a person’s intelligence does not determine their level of emotional intelligence.

What Mister Rodger’s & My Latest Book Review Have in Common!

On November 20, 2019 / Book Review, Self Love, Whole Hearted Living / Leave a comment

On a flight home from Germany a few years ago I watched a documentary about Fred Rodgers and the creation of his show, Mister Rodgers Neighborhood. They shared a very sentimental symbol he used to incorporate into his television program that has always stuck with me. 143 Not only did Mr. Rogers keep his weight at 143 pounds throughout his life, but they also explained why the address on his mailbox was 143. I learned it meant: 1- was “I” 4- was “love” 3-was ”you” There were other heartfelt details Mr. Rodgers put into his show so I can’t wait to see the movie! Everyone knows the holidays are coming up so I thought it would be a good idea to do my own “1-4-3” to honor Mr. Rodgers. Book Review of Manuscript Found in Accra I recently read a book by Paulo

LOOK, LIFE and TIME….

On October 22, 2019 / Self Love, Whole Hearted Living / 3 Comments

LOOK LIFE TIME Many of you might not remember these three words but over thirty years ago they represented the titles of popular magazines when I was growing up. There was something very intriguing about the pictures and the articles they would write about. I was able to envision what it was like to see behind the scenes and discover what other people were like, it felt as if I was experiencing life and seeing the world through their eyes. I would eagerly wait with anticipation by our mailbox to discover what was happening with people and places I could only dream about which was certainly not occurring in my backyard! The idea of so many possibilities and reading about different cultures and ideals was so captivating to me. Looking back, I believe life was much simpler back then; we had to wait